Matching Baldies

 
Went to visit friends after the shoot and thought it was cute that our heads matched :)

Photoshoot

Today I had an awesome photoshoot with photographer Rick Rose and makeup artist Kip Zachary. It was great to get back in front of the camera, and with my bald head!

Bald is Beautiful

A friend of mine posted this on my facebook wall :) Pretty cool, right?!? 

Tonight's the Night

I designated my good friend, Nathaniel, as my head shaver for the ceremony...lol. Couldn't wait to get the rest of what's left off my head! I looked like Bozo the Clown!

It was great to have friends over and make shaving my head such a positive accomplishment. They made me feel like a badass, giving me a mohawk before shaving it all off! He even shaved off his long beard in support of me!

Wigging Out

Today my mom and I went to a wig shop that my hairstylist recommended to me! It was way better than the other wig place I have been to! Super clean and great service, called The Hair Shop! They sit you down at a station, like a hair salon, and even put on and took off the wigs for me!

I got two high quality wigs, a red and a blonde that even has dark roots! They are synthetic but have lace fronts and if you didn't know me, you would never think they are wigs! Photos to come :)

Thankful

Even though my hair is almost gone and I spend whole weeks at a time in bed right now, on my off weeks I can't help but be happy. When I don't feel sick, I get out of the house and am showered with love an attention by all of my friends. More love and positivity than I have ever felt. Everyone wants to help, to make me feel better, and just feeling that is enough to make me thankful for being me. Even if 'me' hurts half of the time.

Dream Land

Had one of the craziest, most intense, dreams I've ever had in my life last night! I'd love to hear what you might think it might means!

I was at the beach with a few friends and went into an area with them known for giant waves, but it was like an underwater parking structure. They assured me it was something they did for fun and it was really cool. Then the waves seemed huge and we waited for one that came and was the biggest, clearest wave I've ever seen. It came over us and we were all underwater (some people I know and others I didn't) and we held our breath. Above us, the massive wave crashed and it suddenly formed the shape of lips and then a man's face! And he looked down at me and summoned me upwards with a deep voice. It was a little scary, but more amazing and overwhelming, and I couldn't hold my breath any longer... though I didn't seem to drown. I calmly floated upwards towards the face calling for me while those around me were holding their breath and watching. Then I woke up!

I looked up some dream interpretations:

To dream that you are caught in a tidal wave represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands your attention. You may have been keeping your feelings and negative emotions bottled up inside for too long. You may be holding back tears that you are afraid to express in your waking life. On a positive note, the tidal wave symbolizes the clearing away of old habits. If you are carried away by the tidal wave, then it means that you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place.

New Hair

Can't believe how much everyone is admiring my new hair cut! Why didn't I go short sooner?!? I know I won't get to have it like this long, but it's pretty empowering. I'll have to style it like this for a while as my hair grows back in :)

Birthday

Emerald earrings from my handsome boy!

At The Getty Museum!

Short Story

  Today is my birthday and I got my hair cut off! I feel like a princess at my hair salon!!!

Haircut Required

Waking up each morning to a mountain of hair on my pillow is getting old really fast. If I roll over during the night, I get a mouthful of hair. So, I scheduled my appointment at the salon for May 25, which happens to be my birthday. I have a cute cut in mind that I have always liked, but never wanted to take the risk...since it takes years to grown my hair back out to the length I like. What do you think?

Bone Scan

Got the results of my bone scan from Dr.Kruper today. All clear! This means the only place we know that my cancer has spread is to the lymph nodes. Let's hope it stays that way!

Go Kings!

It's playoff time for hockey and my boyfriend, Jon, is a big fan. He invited me to see the Los Angeles Kings play and I was afraid it was a bad idea with me being in chemo. So, I called the City of Hope triage line and asked them if I could go. The nurse I spoke to pulled up my records and was able to look at my latest white blood cell count and told me since it was going to be cold, which would lower the number of germs, and my count was high enough still I could go! So exciting!!!

Go Kings Go!!!

Hair Freak Out

Tonight I freaked myself out about losing my hair. I posted on my Young Women With Breast Cancer support group asking how long during treatment before you lose your hair. I got like 30 answers in an hour and they were all quite shocking...most of them said around day 15! Oh man, I only have a week of hair left? Not only that but a few of them made it clear that once it starts to fall out, it only takes a few days to be completely gone! How can it happen so fast!?! I cried a little and got myself all worked up :( I know I will be able to handle it when it happens, but the anticipation is killing me.

Snapshots

This is me now...snapshots from my bathroom. I will miss my wavy hair.

 This is what my counter looks like with all of my medicine. 

Angelina

What timing!?! Angelina Jolie just announced that she had a preventative double-mastectomy after being tested positively for the BRCA gene! This is HUGE! I'm certain this will raise so much awareness for breast cancer and help many people!

THIS is the article to read about Angelina, that gives her perspective.

Port Installed

Just took the bandage off of my port. Crazy how you can see it just below the skin. It connects to the major arteries in my neck and chest, since putting the chemo into the smaller veins would cause them to close up. Needs to be close to my heart where there is higher blood flow and it can be diffused. 

Sick as a Dog

After yesterday's first chemo, I have to say that was one of the worst nights of my life. I spent most of it in the bathroom on the toilet with the trash can in front of me. I get nausea from being in the back seat of a car or anytime I have the flu, but THIS was different. This was the most intense nausea  I have ever experienced. Hoping it doesn't last long.

Headed back to City of Hope for my shot now. I feel so weak. 

Egg Removal and Port Installation and Chemo...Oh My!

What a whirlwind! On Sunday I had my egg removal surgery at the fertility center. They basically went in with a large needle, through the vaginal walls and extracted the mature eggs from my ovaries.
Then today I had another surgery to have the port installed into my chest. Unfortunately for THIS surgery they would not put me to sleep and it was super traumatic. I had local anesthesia, so there wasn't any "pain", per se, but being awake while they are pushing and pulling on my chest and knowing that they are installing a device into me was really emotional.

Straight after that surgery I went to have my blood taken and then to my chemo infusion. They left the needle in the port after surgery, so that made starting the infusion easier. It takes four hours just for the infusion...so with all the prep (blood work and oncologist consultation) it's a full day of City of Hope.


Everyone that walks passed my room asks me and marvels at my quilt :) It's a source of positivity at a place where everyone is sick and sad.

Quilted

Had an amazing surprise dinner last night with such a great mixture of friends! A friend of mine put together a beautiful quilt that so many of you contributed to! It was possibly one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received, and it will most certainly surround me with love on some of my tougher days.