Emotion Therapy

Today I was called "remarkable"...not sure if anyone has ever called me that before! But I like the sound! 

It was the first time I have ever seen a therapist. I felt like if I was ever going to get help coping with emotional difficulties, now was a good time! And why not- I have so many other kinds of doctors helping me right now...never can be too prepared for my journey!  

My therapist was very complimentary about how I have been handling my predicament. She said that I am surprisingly overwhelmingly positive :)

Paint Job

I have the most AMAZING friends. As we speak,Melanie, Jon and a few more of my good friends are painting my room for me! I am not supposed to be exposed to the paint fumes with my fertility program, for the egg freezing...and I feel so helpless. But sooooo thankful to have so many amazing people in my life. I love you guys!

Genetics Results

So, despite the uncomfortable tests today and the bruising on both of my arms from being stuck every day...today we got GOOD results from the genetics department. I tested negative for BRCA1 and 2 and TP53! This means that I am NOT at high risk for ovarian cancer and for recurrence, that they can tell. It's great news for my siblings and my future offspring. So yay for having no genetic mutations!

Cat Scan

Contrast grossness for my cat scan. Cheers! 

Fertility Shot #1

I did it! One self-administered shot down...many more to go. Hoping all these hormones won't make me too crazy!

I either have to give the shot in my abdomen or thighs, with a half-inch needle. I have to say, it feels like an accomplishment!
 

Poked and Prodded

My arm looks like I'm a drug addict from all the blood I have been giving for the tests and the IVs lately. Yuck!

Livestrong

MORE good news! I was just approved by the Livestrong Foundation for financial assistance with my egg freezing! I am ecstatic!!! :D 

Or should I say EGGstatic, as some of my friends have pointed out!

Caring Doctors

I finally got my period and thought for sure it was too late, since my oncologist was wanting to start ASAP...but I called the fertility group this morning and they talked with my oncologist and everyone is willing to bend the rules to make this happen for me!!! My fertility doctor said he will freeze my eggs, even if it means performing the procedure on Sunday! And my oncologist said she really wants me to do this and is willing to do my chemo herself on an off day! I am so amazed at the compassion my doctors have. It's truly a miracle!!!

Period Please

I've never wanted to get my period so badly as I do now. Last week I decided to post-pone my chemo (for a maximum of two weeks- per my oncologist) in order to freeze my eggs. The chances of me not being fertile after chemo are around 10% and that scares the hell out of me....way more than losing my hair or having my chemo port installed. So, I went for the back-up plan. Unfortunately if I don't get my period in the next 24 or so hours, there won't be time for the drugs to take effect and grow my eggs enough. If I do get it in time, I will be giving my self shots twice a day for ten days and then being put under for the egg collecting procedure. So, keep your fingers crossed that my stupid period comes!

Biopsy Bruises

Still have quite the colorful breast from the biopsy on 3/12.
The purple half circle is still pen, I think. But the rest is where they gathered the core samples from and then there is just bruising and broken blood vessels.

Having Fun

Having the best time ever, surrounded by close friends, lots of sunshine, great bands...life is good. ♥

Fuck Cancer

At the Coachella house and look what my friends have hung above the back door! So much support! So happy to be here :)

Leaving for Coachella

Soooo EXCITED about Coachella! Leaving tonight :D Going to try and forget about cancer for three days and PARTAY before I start treatment!!!

Coachella

Since I have been recovering so nicely from my surgery and I have some time before I have to start chemo, I made the decision to go to Coachella. Last year was the first year that i attended this music festival and I literally had the time of my life. I know I will be starting treatment soon and therefore will be missing out on a lot of fun times, so I'm making this my last hoorah of sorts!

Basically it's a great time in the dessert, with good friends, great music and a ton of fun. A big group of us rent a house and it feels a lot like camping :)

Melanie and Jon, my boyfriend, are both joining us this year...which is super exciting! I can't wait to PARTAY!!!

Pathology Results

So, the post-surgery pathology has returned and it's all bad news. 

Firstly, the surgery did not have clear margins, which means that they did not get all of the cancer out of my breast when they removed the lump :( They will eventually have to go back in and remove a larger piece of tissue to get the rest.

Secondly, the two lymph nodes that were removed are positive for metastatic carcinoma. Translation- my cancer has spread to my lymph nodes. 

This is very bad news because it means that my treatment plan will now include chemotherapy. 

Recovering

Recovering, recovering...hate not being able to use my right arm much. I would way rather have my independence and be helpful! But I did shampoo my own hair for the first time today, since my surgery! Which felt like a major accomplishment. Lol. 

The worst part of recovery was getting off of my pain meds. Only took four days of bring on the pain meds to get the worst headache ever when I stopped taking them. That's a pretty scary thing.

Tuesday will be a big day- my follow-up appointment and pathology results!

Lumpectomy Surgery

Yesterday I had the lump removed, along with a few lymph nodes from under my arm, to determine whether the cancer has spread. The worst part was the iv in my arm, which was super uncomfortable for hours before I actually went into surgery. Otherwise, the City of Hope staff made me super comfortable. We even sang Elton Jon when they wheeled me into the surgery room...lol.

When I woke up, I was super silly and kept talking about cookies. I was even reciting lines from old movies, like "you guys want some cookies!" Melanie and my boyfriend got a real kick out of it!