Out on the town

I went out with my ladies last night to Beachers Madhouse to try and mingle my newly single self :)

Single

Jon left me yesterday. WE had been arguing a bit but I was so sick from chemo that I asked him to wait until I felt better. He refused and left my stuff at the door with Melanie. A year and a half...talks of buying a home for both of us to live in and children. Gone. 

Now I plan to go for the double mastectomy...no sense in holding onto one breast for breast feeding when I am starting over. I rather eliminate as much rusk as possible.

Out and About

Jon and I watched the sunset at the Hermosa Pier and walked around town last night. So nice to get so much fresh, ocean air.

Like my wig?

Prison

Starting to feel a bit like myself again...when I am sooo tired, it makes my comfy amazing bed feel like a prison. Eat lunch...need a nap. Talk on the phone...need a nap. Take a bath...nap time. I miss having all my energy! Come back!!!

Chemo Day #3

Chemo day If you don't hear anything from me for the next four or five days, I'll be in bed.

Ticking Clock

Tomorrow is treatment 3 out of 8. I am really dreading it. Last infusion, since I wasn't all numb like the first infusion after surgery, I could feel the chemo going into me. It was quite horrible...almost a burning sensation. The nurse said it was because I am so skinny.

Just sitting there knowing you are being poisoned is enough to make me nauseous. And if you have to go to the bathroom during those four hours, you have to drag the whole iv stand and hold all the tubes that are connected to you out of the way....and you pee red. Because the chemo is freshly inside you.

Then I have to go back the following day for the white blood cell boost shot....the whole thing really sucks. Even when I am on my good week, like now, I always feel like there is a deadline approaching. The clock is ticking away and I only have a few days before I am down and out again.

Each time I get invited to a party or event, I look in my calendar to see if it falls on a good week (and I could go) or on a bad week (and I can't). Then I look at the location to see if it's an indoor crowded venue (and I can't go) or if it is outdoor and/or safe. So many limitations.

Compliment

Got a compliment on my hair from a friend who owns a hair salon tonight! Had to tell her I was wearing a wig (my new red one)....she was shocked! I told her that it meant a lot coming from her. 

Guess I don't have to worry about the people around me being able to tell I have a wig on if a hairdresser couldn't even tell! Wooohoo!